Super-momming Ain’t Easy

Being a wife has its challenges at times… then you throw being a new mom into the mix and life can get all kinds of convoluted. I’ve been married since 2014 and a mom since 2016. In this short time I have realized that I am a super woman in multiple ways.

This blog entry would be over 100,000 words in length if I listed everything that I do; therefore, I will spare you. I will just say that I am one bad @ss mother who gets ish done! *pats self on back*

I asked my wonderful (being super sarcastic at the moment) husband to go to the health department and pick up a certified copy of E.K.’s birth certificate. We need this document to take E.K. on the plane since we are traveling this week. Typically, Tuesdays are the husband’s day of the week to take E.K. to daycare, but I took him instead with the expectation that my dear husband would make the run to the health dept. to get what we need. Instead, I come home to dear husband at the gym.

At. The. Damn. Gym.

It really must be nice to keep with certain routines and traditions you had before having a child. Maybe one day I will get to know what it’s like to keep my pre-baby routines and still enjoy the fact that I can come home and my baby be well taken care of and waiting on me. #momlife

Needless to say, I guess I will be running to the Dept. of Health to pick it up myself at some point today when I take my lunch break. It’s so annoying being the “get everything done in record timing” one in the marriage. I work full-time just like my husband does, but I also take on ALL the functions of a stay at home mom. I pack the bottles, the food, the clothing, do the grocery shopping, run the errands, etc. etc. etc. etc…. and my husband… well, he goes to the damn gym! Ugh! Love his punk @ss though. LOL.

Super-momming ain’t easy.

Lord, give me the strength and resistance to not throw a skillet at this man that I love so dearly’s head.

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It’s official….

… E.K. has sleep trained us (his parents)!!!! This little human has managed to train us to go into his room 2 to 4 times throughout the night and pat him on his back until he falls back to sleep. Here we were thinking we were doing the “gentle sleep training method” and this little super smart baby boy has managed to get us sleep trained, lol.

E.K. woke up 4 times last night. Yep…FOUR (4)! He ended up in our bed at about 4am when both the husband and I were delusional & exhausted. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep. This sleep training crap is H.A.R.D.

Tonight, he went down at approx. 7pm and so far has remained in dreamland. We’re hopeful he will sleep at least until about 3am so we can get some level of rest tonight. Tomorrow is picture day at daycare, so I am packing some outfit choices for his teacher to change him into for his photo op.

I’m finally going to see what my mom went through ordering picture packages and sending wallet sizes out to family & friends. It’s kind of exciting. Kind of… lol.

Meanwhile, the husband is laying next to me snoring as I type this blog entry. Must be nice to be so sleep to the point of snoring. I haven’t had that in over a year! Lucky bastard. Maybe one day soon I will get the chance to rest to the point of calling the hogs home.

Goodnight.

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Sleep Training, Night Four

What is sleep? Who needs sleep? Clearly, I don’t need sleep.  – Exhausted Mom

E.K. said “phuck your sleep training!” in baby talk. I’m convinced that’s what he is screaming at us when we let him sit in his crib screaming. How is it that someone so cute and lovable can turn into a raging monster in 2.1 seconds or less?

[7:00pm] E.K. has his bedtime bottle and I transitioned him to his crib as his eyes got super heavy.

[11:30pm] E.K. also known as baby/little monster awakes in a rage. I gave him a couple of ounces of milk while he laid in his crib. He finished the bottle and went back to screaming…. the “go in and pat him on his back” every 10-15 min wasn’t working. Eventually he went back to sleep [1:10am] after what felt like going in his room 20 times.

[2:20am] Again, he awakens and is summoning us with his loud pterodactyl screams. Everything is a blur but I know we took turns going in and patting him on his back until he dozed back off.

[4:50am] He’s up. Phuck sleep. It’s party time. It’s climb all over your parents and spit on them time. It’s who cares you’re exhausted time.

…. and yes, baby monster stayed up in play mode. He didn’t close his eyes until he was ready to take his morning nap at approx. 8:30am. ANNNNNND….. I forgot to mention that E.K. has a minor case of croup (we got that awesome news this morning at his pediatrician office).

– Phuck sleep. Who needs it!

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JuJuBe is addictive…

I ordered the Jujube BRB in the queen of the nile print when I was 6 months pregnant. It was my first jujube purchase and I had already purchased a skip hop bag but wanted a backpack style diaper bag that was a bit more versatile. After doing some major research, I opted to go with a jujube purchase. Ever since… I. Am. Addicted.

It’s actually kind of ridiculous. I am the proud owner of the following jujube products:

  • 1 Jujube BRB – queen of the nile print
  • 1 Jujube BFF – the countess print
  • 1 Jujube Fuel Cell – the monarch
  • 2 Jujube BeQuicks – 1 is in the black-out print and the other is in queen of the nile

and as of today, I have also added the jujube minibe in the black out print to my collection of insanity.

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The minibe is a lot smaller than it looks in the picture. I placed it fresh out of the plastic wrapping next to my BFF to try to show the size difference, #fail. I will post a “what’s in my diaper bag” blog soon and will have better images posted in that post.

I plan to use minibe for my quick trips to the store when I don’t need the main bag but need to carry just enough to have on hand if needed. It will also be a great bag to use when I take my walks with E.K. in his stroller.

I’ve come to accept that I have a major addiction to quality bags and shoes. Judge yourself! Anyhow, this bag is great. I love that all jujube bags are machine washable and can be used after baby has long outgrown the need of a diaper bag.

…until next time.

Sleep Training, Night Three

Whelp, so much for thinking it would be as simple as allowing E.K. to scream his heart out for one night and he’d be magically sleep trained, lol.

[6:00pm] – E.K. was beyond exhausted. After dealing with is crankiness for a good 2+ hours, I gave in to bathing him and giving him his cereal laced bottle early. He didn’t even finish it… he was knocked out 5 minutes into the bottle.

[11:00pm] – He woke up crying. The husband went into E.K.’s room to pat him on his back until he dozed back off (roughly 10 min).

[2:16am] – E.K. is partially awake and screaming. He can’t seem to get and stay comfortable. I gave him 2 oz of milk via bottle in his crib to help calm him down. It worked all of maybe 5 minutes before he was back to screaming. I remained in his room patting him on his back in his crib for what felt like forever but was actually probably 15 to 20 minutes in length. I finally gave up because it seemed to only make him more irritated with me, so I left his room to let him cry for 10 min.

Whelp… that 10 min turned into a good 40 to 50 minutes before he finally whined himself out. I must have fallen asleep (again) during his scream session because the next thing I knew it was 4am.

[4:00am] – I woke up and for a brief moment freaked out because I couldn’t see E.K. on the monitor. It was complete silence in his room with the exception of the white noise  machine. I walked into his room and saw my sweet baby E.K. laying on his tummy under the monitor with his eyes open just laying there.

Considering he’d been sleep on and off since 6pm, I picked him up… changed his diaper… and brought him into our room where he played and climbed over us until it was time to get him up and ready for daycare.

It’s official… sleep training sucks rocks at the moment.

Sleep Training, Night Two

Good Morning! And it really is a good morning for the most part (I’m not going to include the fact that my job totally phucked up my W4 allowances and now I’m waiting on a explanation).

We had some success last night.

[4:30pm] I fed E.K. dinner and gave him some snacks afterwards. Note: I gave him some Motrin because he was super fussy and chewing on his fingers thanks to teething. He has had baby Motrin before and in the past it hasn’t made him overly sleepy or tired typically.

[5:45pm] Lavender bubble bath and I got him some new bath toys to play with in the tub that he enjoyed.

[6:00pm] Lotion and coconut oil massage, dressed for bed, and storytime.

[6:30pm] Heated a 6oz bottle with multigrain baby cereal included. His dad fed him while I ran to the store. He laid him in his crib just as his eyes were beginning to close.

[7:10pm] I received a text message from the spouse saying that E.K. has been out (read: sleep) since 7pm.

I got home from the store and was able to put things away, wash dishes, make and eat dinner in peace! I waited and waited for E.K. to start stirring around the 11pm mark and it didn’t happen. He was KNOCKED OUT. I walked into his room before I went to bed to check the temperature and to make sure he appeared comfortable.

Sleep… sleep… sleep…

[3:04am] E.K. starts a sleepy subtle whine and cry. I get up and glance at the clock. Oh my gosh! My little monster has been sleep since 7pm and this is his first wake up??? I grabbed a bottle and went to his room where I handed the bottle to a very sleepy E.K. while he was in his crib. His eyes were still closed as he drank a couple ounces from the bottle. He rolled over and went back to sleep. Well alrighty then my precious little monster!

I took the remainder of the bottle to the fridge and went back to bed.

[5:15am] Good Morning! E.K. awakes and it’s time to get him up and ready for daycare.

I’d say this was a WIN!!! Let’s see if he will do this again tonight.

Sleep Training, Night One

E.K. is 8.5 months old. He is a feisty but loving 8.5 month old who wants what he wants when he wants it. Lately, that want has been me coddling him to sleep each night in my arms and then transitioning him to his crib where he will typically sleep any where from 1 to 3 hours at a time before waking up screaming like he’s losing his mind until I rush into his room and nurse him back to sleep. Needless to say, E.K. associates sleeping with being on the boob {insert deep sigh here}. Whelp enough is enough… or is it???

The husband and I decided we need to try to sleep train again (we failed miserably the first few times we’ve tried in the past months). This time, we are being consistent which is key in having success according to the experts. Here is where we started:

  • I researched like a mad woman. The Ferber method (aka the cry-it-out method) is listed pretty much everywhere and we decided to take some tips from it and tailor it to our child.
  • I created a schedule that we will try to stick to consistently over the next few weeks. The schedule includes E.K.’s bedtime routine (so that my husband has something to reference in the event I’m away). I taped it to E.K.’s bedroom door.
  • Our pediatrician confirmed at E.K.’s 6 month appointment that he was perfectly healthy and allowing him to cry for a bit to get sleep trained was strongly advised. She assured us that the temporary discomfort of hearing our baby scream and cry would be well worth it later as he needs the sleep just as much if not more than we do as his parents. I strongly advise that you see your child’s pediatrician to make sure your baby doesn’t have any underlying health issues before you try any cry-it-out type sleep training methods.
  • [5:30pm] I made sure to feed E.K. a full dinner. This is important — you don’t want to put your child to sleep on a half empty or empty tummy because they will be hungry and likely wake up pissed looking to be fed. I typically feed E.K. dinner at approx. 5:30pm and I let him play after dinner to give him time to process the food the eliminate the waste (read: poop) before I run his bubble bath.
  • [6:30pm] I then give E.K. a super warm lavender bubble bath. He loves to splash the water everywhere, so after I wash him and his hair I let him splash and play for 5 min before removing him from his bath. His bath usually lasts no more than 15 min total.
  • [6:45pm] After his bath, I massage him with coconut oil and lavender baby lotion. This is sometimes a task because he is in the “toss, roll, laugh and play” mode after his bath.
  • [7:00pm] I turn on his sound machine, humidifier and the ceiling projector in his room. I also make sure his room is the perfect temperature so that he doesn’t get too hot or cold.
  • E.K. and I then sit in the rocking chair where I give him 4 to 6 oz of warm milk with cereal in it. I found that he prefers the fast flow nipples, so we use level 4 Avent nipples for him now.
  • We have prayer. I pray over E.K. as he is drinking his bedtime bottle and his eyes typically start to get super heavy. This is tricky. You don’t want your baby to be asleep when you place him in his crib, but if he is too awake… it becomes a battle to get him to lay down. So when I notice his eyes rolling and the blinking getting longer, I ease him into his crib and lay him on his belly. I think pat his back and tell him that I love him before kissing him goodnight and leaving the room.

[7:30pm] Night one he went down with a little resistance and started to whine but went to sleep after I patted his back for about 5 minutes as he laid on his tummy.

[11:50pm] E.K. starts to toss and turn. He begins to cry…

[11:55pm] I walk into E.K.’s room and begin to say “shhhhhh” as I pat his back. He rolls over and sits up… then begins the pterodactyl scream that would have the deepest sleeping neighbors scare awake. At this point, E.K. has turned into a mini-monster standing up on his crib with his eyes still closed and screaming non-stop. What part of the game is this ish!?

[12:05am] I got to the fridge and take out a small tommee tippee sippy cup that had 2 oz of formula in it. I heated it and brought it back to E.K. (never picking him up) and handed it to him. He drank it and it was just enough to get him to stop screaming and soothe a bit. When he finished the 2 oz, I removed the cup from him and turned him onto his tummy where I patted his back saying “shhhhh”. [approx. 12:15am]  He went back to sleep.

[2:48am] E.K. wakes up with the pterodactyl scream again — stands up at the corner of his crib screaming at the door. This time it’s on level 5000. The husband attempts to go in and lay E.K. back down while patting his back but E.K. wants no part of it. After about 15 minutes of this screaming like someone just karate chopped him in his shin, I get up and go get another bottle (thinking maybe he’s hungry). I relieve the husband and take over the patting and never picking E.K. up. This kid absolutely lost his little mind. He kept standing up and hollering while reaching for me to pick him up. This sh*t is real on the heart strings! I stand firm on the no-picking-him-up method and handed him the bottle. He sipped maybe 1 oz (if that) while fussing and then threw the bottle and proceeded to scream more.

[3:20am] I leave the room. E.K. is steadily screaming. This time, he finds the security camera casually placed on the top of his crib frame and he knocks it down while screaming. I go back into the room and reposition the camera and attempt to pat him down again. No use…. he’s pissed. Like REALLY pissed. [3:40am] I leave the room, again.

The husband and I turned the volume of the monitor off while watching the baby monster’s every move. Eventually we doze off — yes, we were THAT DAMN exhausted.

[4:45am] I wake up frantic. I don’t hear anything. Oh sh*t, is E.K. okay?!?!? My husband leans over and says “he’s sleep. He successfully cried his little self to sleep”.

Well damn.

[5:45am] I get up and go wake E.K. up to nurse him and get him ready for daycare. It takes our overly exhausted baby a little bit to wake up, but he opened his eyes and smiled. Our kid has the best smile ever. He was actually happy to wake up to me hovering over him singing “good morning honey”.

Maybe we can do this after all. Maybe E.K. won’t hate us for helping him learn to self soothe and sleep. This was just night one. Let’s see how he does the rest of the week. God help us!

– Love, Peace, Coffee, and Wine after 12 noon!